I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
