bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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