i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
