It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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