i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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