you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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