i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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