a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
