Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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