Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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