You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
