dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
