I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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