His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
