I'm drive I can fine osifer
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
