does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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