I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
