Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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