No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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