I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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