And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
