Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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