If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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