That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
