she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
