turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
