so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
