I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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