Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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