just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
