Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
