Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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