Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
