she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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