question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
