NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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