Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
