i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
