I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
