please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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