It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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