just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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