you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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