My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize