Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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