is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
