Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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