I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
