If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
