As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
