Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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