where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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