why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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