AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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