She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
two words...techno handjob
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
