We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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