I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
