i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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