Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
