clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
