I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
